Sorry about that. Just needed a little primal scream therapy.
A little background to my problem: way back in September, I sent in my online application for my Florida teaching certificate. No problem, I thought, since Florida has a reciprocity agreement with Virginia, where I held a valid teaching certificate.
Months go by and I hear nothing from the state, until all of a sudden they decide they can't process it because they don't have my transcripts. They did, of course, but whatever... I contacted the two institutions where I have studied and asked for another set of official transcripts to be sent.
More time passes. Seasons change.
Then I get another letter from FLDOE saying they still can't process my application because they don't have my transcripts. Now I'm getting a little steamed. It takes me three days to get through on the phone because every time I dial the number, listen to the mandatory three different menus and finally get to press 0 to speak to a "certification specialist" I get a message essentially telling me that they're way too busy to answer the phone and I should try again later.
What follows is a transcript of my conversation when I finally got through:
CS: "Florida Dept of Education, Bureau of Certification. May I help you?"
Me: "I'm calling about my application for certification. [Give name and application number] I received a letter saying that your office hasn't received my transcripts. I requested a second set be sent to you months ago, and I received my copies promptly. Can you verify if you haven't received them, or if you have received them but haven't processed them?"
CS: "Oh, we have them."
Me: "... You do? Then why did the letter say you don't?"
CS: "That's just a computer-generated letter to get you to call us."
Me (not mentioning the three DAYS it took to get through): "Wouldn't a computer-generated letter asking me to call your office be more effective?"
CS: ....
Me: "So if you have my transcripts, what seems to be the problem?"
CS: "Your transcripts do not show that you have a degree."
Me: "Excuse me?"
CS: "There's no degree or date of graduation on your transcripts."
Me: "I'm sorry, but it does show my degree. I have my copies right here, and if you'll look at the one from Tennessee Tech, you'll see on page 3 that I did receive my B.S. in _________ on _____________."
CS: "Well, they didn't put that on our copy."
Me: "I'm sure they did. I earned that degree 18 years ago, and it's been on every transcript I've requested since."
CS: "Then you can just send us your copy."
Me: "But the application clearly states that it must be an official copy sent directly from the university."
CS: "Oh, don't pay attention to that. Just send them."
WTF????? So I copied my copy, circled the degree in a big bold stroke and highlighted it. Then I went straight down to the post office and overnighted it. Then I called the TTU Records office, just to be sure. When I explained to the clerk what the FLDOE claimed, she said, "That's stupid." I know! I gave it another day, then called again:
Different CS: "Florida Department of Education, Bureau of Certification. May I help you?"
Me: [Recounts why I am calling and synopsis of previous call] "So, I'm calling to see if you've received my transcripts."
CS: "I see your degree right here."
Me: "You do? On the original copy?"
CS: "Yes, it says you received a B.S. in _________ on ___________."
Me: "Then why didn't anyone else see it before?"
CS: "Basically, because I went looking for it. It's on page 3, and most universities put that on page 1."
Me: "Are you telling me that I've waited MONTHS because someone..."
CS (hurriedly): "I'm emailing them [the administrators who make the decision, I guess?] right now to tell them that you have the degree."
Me (trying really, really hard to remain calm and polite): "Okay, so from this point, how long until I receive my certificate?"
CS: "Twenty-five to thirty business days."
Me: "WHAT????"
CS: "That's how long the process takes."
At this point, I felt veins bulging so I decided to end the call. The people who are deciding whether I'm qualified to teach CAN"T READ A TRANSCRIPT?
I called the Diocese and was assured that the delay is no problem. I think I'm going to lie down now.
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